Death is coming to everyone but some wish it was sooner rather than later
I have always fucked up my own life pretty good. over and over again I make the wrong choices. It is what I do best today was no different unfortunately. I am now a lying 2 timing slut. I lead people on even though I make things clear before I am friends with someone. FRIENDS JUST FRIENDS. I just blur the lines and cuddle… that is bad apparently when you have a fuck buddy that wants to be the only person you fuck. This remark causes me great pain because I do not think highly of myself and this does not change that. It makes it worse. I have lost grip on life itself and am contemplating lack of life. How bad would it be if I didn't exist any more? Who would care? My mom and my dad… who else in my life gives a shit about me? Such a sad existence.
Am I helping or Hurting?
something I ask myself a lot. It is never about my happiness its about How others view me… how I make them feel. but what about me? I am always hurting myself for others. holding myself back for them…. why can't I be me? Why can't I be free? I mean I need to find out what I want...what I need? I wish I had a magic comps that shows me which way to go. So am I helping or hurting … helping others hurting myself… and that is not fair.
Now I am to drunk to type but I will leave it at this I know I need to better myself but it will take time.
Am I helping or Hurting?
something I ask myself a lot. It is never about my happiness its about How others view me… how I make them feel. but what about me? I am always hurting myself for others. holding myself back for them…. why can't I be me? Why can't I be free? I mean I need to find out what I want...what I need? I wish I had a magic comps that shows me which way to go. So am I helping or hurting … helping others hurting myself… and that is not fair.
Now I am to drunk to type but I will leave it at this I know I need to better myself but it will take time.
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